My Son's Focus on Fitness and Holistic Health

Although I was adamant that I didn't want my son to participate in mixed martial arts and it still makes me feel like I am watching a horror movie, I support him. He has moved from tennis and basketball to a sport that he describes as "disciplined, intense and rewarding." He had his first mui thai fight last weekend. It was an exhibition and he fought a 25 year old, who was 20 pounds heavier and had won 7 previous fights. If I had been there, I would have embarrassed both of us and forbid him from fighting the guy.

Take a look- He held his own so I'm proud of him, although I'm still glad I wasn't there. He is focusing on total fitness and holistic health!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2y6zpM3uoQ

News8 WTNH CT TV Interview

See and hear Dr. Darlene Powell Garlington talk about her latest book, BLOOMING AGAIN: Weathering Personal Storms and Building Resilient Families, on News 8 WTNH CT.

Click on the link below or copy and paste it into your browser.
http://www.wtnh.com/dpp/on_air/gmc_weekend/how-to-deal-with-crisis-in-your-life
Enjoy!

April 10 Book Signing and Discussion Event

Photographs taken at the April 10 book signing and discussion event held at The Archdiocesan Center at St. Thomas Seminary in Bloomfield, Connecticut.

Sometimes hopes, goals and dreams get lost in a mire of anxiety and depression after a traumatic experience. Now, thanks to the groundbreaking new book "BLOOMIING AGAIN," you can strengthen your resiliency and thrive again.

Join us at this Connecticut book discussion and workshop event facilitated by renowned author and psychologist Dr. Darlene Powell Garlington as she explores the myriad of challenges that many people face at some point in their life that lead to feelings of devastation and learn how to move beyond them. There will be a special presentation by Dotti and Derek Garlington.


When:
April 10, 2011 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Where:
The Archdiocesan Center at St. Thomas Seminary
467 Bloomfield Avenue
Bloomfield, CT 06002

Family Fitness and Resiliency

The Garlington Family uses exercise and fitness as a way of gaining strength and persevering through adversity. Dr. Darlene Powell Garlington's book, BLOOMING AGAIN: WEATHERING PERSONAL STORMS AND GROWING FAMILY RESILIENCY is about using a holistic approach of mind, body and spirit to develop individual, family and community resiliency.

Go to the following you tube site to see their approaches to staying fit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_NkNtTEHC8

Good Friends Are Like Spies

Good friends are like spies. They search for the underlying meaning in your communication.

Well, not exactly like spies. But, good friends have intimacy and look beyond appearances. It would be ideal if we always communicated our thoughts and feelings directly and openly. What a blessing to have friends who can help you to be introspective and self-assess. They search and look intensely to obtain information about us. With candor and insight, they can help us explore our thoughts and behaviors. When there is dissonance between who we say we are, or want to be, and how we are actually behaving, good friends tell us.

We can reach out to good friends for encouragement during challenging times. Friends you can share a laugh with or shed a tear give emotional support. They provide psychological benefits that make life more gratifying. Authentic exchanges, feedback, and validation inspire us. These interactions enhance each other's self-esteem and motivate us to pursue goals and aspirations. When we are facing serious challenges, friends help to normalize life problems and brainstorm solutions. Friendship bonds and connections are vital for our well-being and quality of life. We thrive when we are in union and fellowship with positive people.

Sometimes a problem is disguised within a conversation and it takes a spy friend to reveal the underlying meanings of the spoken words. For example, Men tend to reach out indirectly through conversations about sports or current events when troubled with an issue. It is one way they seek to bond. A spy friend will detect the hidden concern and automatically know to provide comfort or reassurance to his friend.

Women, too, reach out indirectly at times. "Hey Karyn, let's go to they gym," is something I might say to my best friend when I'm stressed, and need to burn off some steam. The conversation may or may not lead to me sharing the cause of my concern. However, the eventual bonding, connecting and interacting will help me cope with the problem. As a spy friend, Karyn will readily pick up on my fears and anxieties and respond lovingly.

Regardless of gender, there are times when friends do need to be direct and open in their communication. Vulnerability and openness enhance trust and intimacy in friendships. My husband, Dr. Ernest C. Garlington, once said to his brother and best friend, Larry, "I'm worried about Ma and need to talk to you." When we are able to be genuine and empathy is reciprocal, the impossible becomes possible. We are counterparts in working toward self-actualization and gathering information for growth.
FRIENDS WHO ARE SPIES:

SPIRITUALLY – pray with and for one another; Sharing faith and fellowship with one another inspires and encourages. Observe spiritual battles and questions of faith. When a friend's faith is tested, gently and lovingly witness about God's power, grace, mercy and love.

PHYSICALLY - spend time together exercising and/or playing sports; This lowers the heart rate and blood pressure thereby reducing stress, anxiety and depression. Observe health challenges and encourage positive changes, exercise, healthy eating habits and regular medical check ups.

INTELECTUALLY - engage in stimulating and philosophical conversations that encourage growth and progress in achieving goals and aspirations. Observe insecurities and inspire friends with confidence to pursue dreams.

EMOTIONALLY – support one another in expressing feelings openly and directly; actively listen to one another. Look for underlying meanings when a friend is defensive, projecting frustration or being irritable. Respond lovingly instead of taking it personally.

SOCIALLY – spend time doing enjoyable and fun activities; networking and having fun bring joy to life and an increased sense of fulfillment. Observe social anxiety and encourage overcoming fears.

Newsflash!!! Perfect relationships do not exist

Sure, we may madly love our spouses, children, parents, friends, extended family members and the like. However, there are times when the viability of these relationships come into question. If you've ever been in a meaningful relationship, you know exactly what I am talking about.

Interpersonal relationships are extremely rewarding, but can be challenging. Tina Turner was partially right when she asked, “What's Love Got To Do With It?” The globally recognized symbol of true love and relationship happiness - the Rose - is more representative of many relationships than people realize. Roses typically bloom just once a year and are often left to their own demise until the next season bloom. How many of us recognize our unions on just anniversaries and birthdays?

Like sunshine to a Rose, relationships also require nurturing and attention and periodic check-in's -from both parties - to grow. How can you assess your relationship dynamics? You can begin by asking:

* Can I depend on him or her?
* Do I feel safe when I am with him or her?
* Can I easily and readily communicate my feelings to him or her?
* Is he or she willing to resolve conflicts together?
* Do I feel valued and supported in the relationship?
* Is my life enhanced with him or her in it?
* Do I feel the relationship is spiritually blessed?
* Does he or she REALLY hear what I am trying to communicate?

Ambiguity to three or more questions may suggest your relationship could use a bit more “sunshine.” Here is a 6-stage plan to establish a year-round healthy relationship.

1.RECOGNIZE PROBLEM AREA(S): For example, are communication and/or trust issues most threatening to your relationship?

2.ESTABLISH GOALS: Determine specific ways you can initiate change. These should be behavioral goals that are measurable. For example, say I appreciate you more often, reduce criticism, or routinely schedule quality time together.

3.CLEARLY COMMUNICATE: Express your goals and intent to your relationship partner. One example of clear communication is: “Mom, I love you and sometimes I don’t show it enough. I think we can both be too critical at times . This is something I would like for us to improve on. I don’t let you know how much I appreciate you. As a start, I would like to take you out to dinner this Friday.”

4.REQUEST FEEDBACK: Ask your relationship partner for feedback. Ask if he or she noticed any changes to the relationship since you both undertook efforts to improve the relationship.

5.SELF ASSESSMENT: Evaluate your own progress within the relationship independently. You can't change your partner's behavior. He or she must be willing to change. But your actions can inspire positive change in your partner's behavior.

6.PLAN IMPLEMENTATION: Follow-through...Follow-through ...Follow-through. Your plan can't be effective without a commitment to executing the plan. Implementing your plan will naturally allow you to modify goals to ensure greater improvement.

Healthy relationships are genuine, authentic, reciprocal, compassionate, empathetic and self-enhancing. All relationships require commitment and interest to fully develop. As mentioned, we can not change other people. We can only change ourselves. However, by changing ourselves, we can change the dynamics of our relationships. So, do not settle for relationship bloom periods surrounding anniversaries and birthdays. Let's strive to maintain a loving spirit and achieve healthy relationships all year round.