Newsflash!!! Perfect relationships do not exist

Sure, we may madly love our spouses, children, parents, friends, extended family members and the like. However, there are times when the viability of these relationships come into question. If you've ever been in a meaningful relationship, you know exactly what I am talking about.

Interpersonal relationships are extremely rewarding, but can be challenging. Tina Turner was partially right when she asked, “What's Love Got To Do With It?” The globally recognized symbol of true love and relationship happiness - the Rose - is more representative of many relationships than people realize. Roses typically bloom just once a year and are often left to their own demise until the next season bloom. How many of us recognize our unions on just anniversaries and birthdays?

Like sunshine to a Rose, relationships also require nurturing and attention and periodic check-in's -from both parties - to grow. How can you assess your relationship dynamics? You can begin by asking:

* Can I depend on him or her?
* Do I feel safe when I am with him or her?
* Can I easily and readily communicate my feelings to him or her?
* Is he or she willing to resolve conflicts together?
* Do I feel valued and supported in the relationship?
* Is my life enhanced with him or her in it?
* Do I feel the relationship is spiritually blessed?
* Does he or she REALLY hear what I am trying to communicate?

Ambiguity to three or more questions may suggest your relationship could use a bit more “sunshine.” Here is a 6-stage plan to establish a year-round healthy relationship.

1.RECOGNIZE PROBLEM AREA(S): For example, are communication and/or trust issues most threatening to your relationship?

2.ESTABLISH GOALS: Determine specific ways you can initiate change. These should be behavioral goals that are measurable. For example, say I appreciate you more often, reduce criticism, or routinely schedule quality time together.

3.CLEARLY COMMUNICATE: Express your goals and intent to your relationship partner. One example of clear communication is: “Mom, I love you and sometimes I don’t show it enough. I think we can both be too critical at times . This is something I would like for us to improve on. I don’t let you know how much I appreciate you. As a start, I would like to take you out to dinner this Friday.”

4.REQUEST FEEDBACK: Ask your relationship partner for feedback. Ask if he or she noticed any changes to the relationship since you both undertook efforts to improve the relationship.

5.SELF ASSESSMENT: Evaluate your own progress within the relationship independently. You can't change your partner's behavior. He or she must be willing to change. But your actions can inspire positive change in your partner's behavior.

6.PLAN IMPLEMENTATION: Follow-through...Follow-through ...Follow-through. Your plan can't be effective without a commitment to executing the plan. Implementing your plan will naturally allow you to modify goals to ensure greater improvement.

Healthy relationships are genuine, authentic, reciprocal, compassionate, empathetic and self-enhancing. All relationships require commitment and interest to fully develop. As mentioned, we can not change other people. We can only change ourselves. However, by changing ourselves, we can change the dynamics of our relationships. So, do not settle for relationship bloom periods surrounding anniversaries and birthdays. Let's strive to maintain a loving spirit and achieve healthy relationships all year round.